For many years now, Max and I have been aware that some pretty incredible and pretty awful things have happened to our family between the first of May and the last day of June. It’s kind of freaky when you look it all at once:
June, 1984, we moved into our first house and there was a solar eclipse the same day. June 1985, my best friend, Gail, was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I had surgery; we had our surgeries the same day. In June 1986, Gail’s cancer came back in her lungs. In 1988, I gave birth to Aaron the same day Gail was having brain surgery because her cancer spread there. (Gail died just before Christmas of 1989.) June 1989 was Aarons first birthday and the only birthday party he ever got to have. In June of 1990, Aaron died. In June of 1991, I had surgery to remove scar tissue, and my mentor, Kathe, died. She was an incredibly strong and amazing woman; Jen is named after her. May 1992, Jen was born. June 1993, we lost our house. June 1994, we were attacked by a crazy woman who stalked us that whole summer. June 1995, I fell and broke my shoulder. 1996 was the year I had ovarian cancer, and in June, I was back in ICU with a thrombosis in my neck. June 1997, our vegetable garden was vandalized while we were out of town; all of our hard work pulled up and destroyed. June 1998, my last grandfather, Grandpa Russell died. June 2000, Travis was in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. May and June 2002, our house was replumbed and repainted, Travis graduated from high school, I got a black eye from a bungee cord, saw my biological father for the first time in 30 years, and was back in ICU with spinal meningitis. Late May 2003, my friend, Jana died from complications of breast cancer (I miss her every single day). In May of 2004, Jen was in the hospital, the starter on the car died, and I was in the hospital again for complications from scar tissue. June of 2005 was easier, just one car malfunction that year (with 2 weeks in the shop). But May 13, 2006 nearly destroyed us when my Uncle Lee died very unexpectedly. In June of 2007, after months of struggling financially, we filed bankruptcy; it started on the anniversary of Aaron’s death. In 2008, my oldest niece graduated, my best friend’s daughter graduated, we had a bat invasion at our house, I dropped a fan on my foot and broke my toe, and my best friend, Kathy, who I’d known for 20+ years, had a psychotic break and tried to shoot my husband. In June of 2009, my granddaughter, Kadence was born, the central air shorted out, my 2nd oldest nephew graduated, and my sister and I had a moment over something stupid (not a happy moment). June 2010, I was working two jobs, including for the Census. I filed a complaint against them and was fired. May and June of 2011, the van died and was out of commission for two weeks, Jen graduated, Jess visited, my brother visited, Jen won a blue ribbon at the regional art show, we threw Jen’s graduation party, our central air was fixed after two years, and our bankruptcy closed out a year early.
So, Max and I tend to get a little nervous when May and June roll around; it’s just tends to be a drama-filled time for us.
Since Tuesday night, when I found out our bankruptcy was over a year early, I’ve felt like I was living in a dream. Everything’s a little blurry and off-kilter. You know the feeling, how you don’t know what to believe and what is false, what you hope is real and what is really real. The fact that this IS real, not a clerical error, not someone pranking us (which would be unbelievably mean), NOT a dream----well, I’m someone who lives by words, and I’m speechless. I’ve spent the past six weeks worrying sick over my car, cause ya’ll know how it is, no car, no job. And Max’s car that he drives back and forth to Houston in each week has 100K miles on it; I get scared every week when he leaves for Houston in that car. But there was no way whatsoever we could make a car note when $1000 of our income goes to the bankruptcy court right off the bat each month. Jen’s senior year was unbelievably expensive, and we’ve been living hand-to-mouth trying to make ends meet. So, when I find out that we get back that $1000 a month, that we can breathe a little easier and get Max a better car, it’s just overwhelming!
There is no explanation for the good or the bad or when it comes; it’s just what we get in life. Why it goes in cycles like this, I have no idea. It’s not that good and bad things don’t happen to us the rest of the year, it just seems like May and June all the drama is squared and there is some thrill or crisis every single week.
All I can do during times like this is what I always do. I give my heart and my soul to the Lord; I put it all in His very capable hands. He is the guiding hand. He knows what we need, when we need it, when we are weak, and when we are strong. Even during times I didn’t think he knew me well, I still know in my heart that He will always keep us strong during times of trial, and appreciative during times of joy. There’s been a lot of Junes when there was only one set of footprints in the sand because He was carrying us.
So, today’s blog is just a long way of saying, thank you Lord, for our lives and all that the word “life” encompasses! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
